Excited Expectations

Arriving in the country usually represents a very positive and hopeful time. The differences in the culture are not a hindrance, but rather a fascination.  Excitement, relief and gratefulness are typical feelings at this stage. The hopes and expectations of those arriving are usually high and their faith in learning the language and finding a job is strong. Usually, they also have plenty of energy to actively arrange all necessary matters. The hopes and expectations may be partially unrealistic. For instance, it may seem that there are no problems whatsoever in the new country. This is a result of either denying the difficulties or closing one’s eyes to them. The positivity in viewing the new environment is as a result of the willingness to find proof that leaving was the right choice.

Conflict of Hopes and Possibilities

The attitude towards the new country becomes more realistic when the person has stayed in the country for longer: ordinary problems of living are present everywhere. The weak points of Finland and the Finns become visible. It is difficult to access education or get a job. The home country begins to feel good in all ways and the new country starts to feel wrong. At this stage, the person often feels bad and suffers from different conditions. The feelings of loneliness and disappointment are typical: Maybe it was not worth coming here? Did I make the right choice?

Strong Reactions and Emotions

The insecurity of the future and lack of routines cause stress. In the new situation, every single thing needs concentration, which takes energy. Psychologically, this is very consuming. At the same time, one should find new relationships to replace their family and friends. A suitable job may not appear right away, and accommodation, money and food may also cause trouble. Usually all this evokes strong reactions and emotions that may even feel terrifying. Many describe having been completely surprised by the force of their own emotions. Emotions, even strong ones, are however an understandable and normal part of adaptation.

Typical feelings and reactions typical for many refugees at this stage are:

• tiredness, lack of strength, frustration and despair
• irritation, bitterness, anger, hate and aggressiveness
• insomnia and nightmares
• forgetting words, names and meetings; concentration problems
• headache, stomach discomfort and other physical symptoms
• timidity and suspiciousness
• lack of energy to do things or make contacts with the new society
• hyperactivity arranging and organizing issues

Usually, it feels comforting to know that the negative feelings are part of the normal immigration process and that this stage will also pass. Sometimes people are afraid that their own personality has changed permanently; that the negative reactions and feelings will remain part of them forever. This is not the case. The stage can be lived down by processing the thoughts and emotions. Leaving the issues unprocessed may result in a deep crisis or depression.

Heading Upwards, Towards Balance

Little by little the newcomer begins to see positive details in the new country and the attitude towards the future is more optimistic. The faith in surviving despite difficulties is returning. The person is beginning to have courage to invest in living in the new country at the emotional level as well as at the level of actions. They start, for instance, to form more stable friendships and to plan buying an own home.

Long periods can pass by without thinking about the relocation. Therefore, it may come as a surprise to many refugees that for instance events and incidents taking place in their old home countries cause temporary regression in the immigration process. The strength of the reaction may depend on the distance to the home country and the visiting opportunities. For refugees, safety may be an obstacle, while for other newcomers, money might be a hindrance.  It is important to remember that the regression is temporary and the journey forward continues.

The fundamental emotion at this stage is most often sorrow which also takes the form of home sickness. Mourning is natural, even essential. One has to give up the past in order to move on. Only after grieving over all that was lost, one can look to the future and all the opportunities the new country offers. Grieving is a sign of being ready to move on. One’s own life history will be converted into a strength and memories into riches.

At this stage of the process, the person begins to notice the positive things about immigration. They master the knowledge of two cultures and know how to act in each of them. Two cultures make the life richer and provide new opportunities. The person has adapted. Ordinary joys, sorrows and calm periods are part of their life again.

Immigration Process May Get into Crisis

A person may also get caught in different stages of the immigration process. If they continue feeling bad for a longer period and feel that they cannot move forward, it is advisable to seek help. A forceful culture crisis, too, will pass when it is actively processed. Finding professional help is not a shame. It is always good to search for help if feeling bad becomes chronic.

Some people have experiences of traumatic events. A trauma may be individual, such as a difficult childhood experience, or collective, such as persecution or war. The traumatic experience is often connected to strong feelings of helplessness, fear and terror. This may result in a post-traumatic stress disorder, the symptoms of which complicate the process of adaptation. In such cases, the traumatic event will be recurrently and uncontrollably recollected through mental images or thoughts, which causes anxiety. 

A stimulus reminding of the traumatic event may result in strongly reliving the events all over again. The person tries to avoid any situations where this might take place. This will complicate taking care of everyday matters and makes it difficult to be in other people’s company. The person is constantly on the alert and apprehensive and keeps avoiding close relationships. Irritation and outbursts of anger are common. This may lead to isolation and loneliness or to conflicts within the family.

A trauma is often accompanied with severe sleep disorders as well as memory and concentration problems. These affect the ability to function and learn and thus complicate, for instance, acquiring language skills or working. The person may experience that their chances of influencing their own future have significantly narrowed. Their feelings are easily hurt and they interpret the messages from their environment in a way that is unfavourable for them. They may have extreme difficulties in trusting others. Even though the past cannot be changed, it is possible to learn to live with traumas.